Grumpy is freelance wine-maker Lee Bemrose (email@example.com). Grumpy's Grenache is a mighty fine drop.
In the local bottle shop the other day I was a bit bemused to see the newly released AC/DC range of fine wines. It's... I mean, I like AC/DC and I like wine, but they just don't have anything to do with each other. Seeing images of Angus Young in Dan Murphy's was as bizarre seeing Kim Kardashian at a Mensa meeting. Or the Murdochs at the International Meeting of People With Integrity. Or Adam Sandler in a funny movie.
“What's going on here, Brain?” I asked my brain.
“I don't know, Grumpy. It's just not computing. It's as bizarre as seeing Kim Kardashian at a Mensa meeting. Or the Murdochs at the International Meeting -”
“Hey – that's what I was just thinking.”
Nobody was going near the AC/DC point of sale area. I guess everyone was having bemused conversations with their bemused brains. But I guessed a lot of shoppers, like me, were taking surreptitious sideways glances at this oddity of merchandising. Think Oz rock, you think black T-shirts, tatts, muscle cars and shouting. Think Oz rock and booze and you think beer or Jack.
And yet there it was – Hells Bells Sauvignon Blanc.
“I know. I saw it too.”
There's also Back In Black Shiraz, You Shook Me All Night Long Moscato and getting away from the Back In Black album, even a Bon Scott reference in the Highway To Hell Cabernet Sauvignon.
“Erm – Brain?”
“Yes Grumpy? I probably know what you're going to say, but go ahead.”
“Didn't the original singer of AC/DC die from an alcohol induced incident?”
“He most certainly did.”
“So as well as pretty damned weird, it's not really in the best taste, is it.”
No. I agree. It's a bit like... a bit like...”
“Releasing a Jeff Buckley range of swimwear?”
“Exactly what I was thinking.”
But it's not really the bad taste aspect that has stayed with me (others have suggested a Marc Bolan model Mini-Cooper to celebrate the vehicle in which he died, or a Mama Cass chain of sandwich shops), it's just the weirdness of the whole thing. Who, exactly, is going to buy this stuff? Certainly not cardigan-clad and knowledgeable wine buffs. Certainly not me or my bon vivant brain. Are AC/DC fans really going to buy it?
And rather than go down the bad taste road of releasing a celebration of the thing that killed a loved rock star, I'm a far more practical thinker. “Isn't that right, Brain.”
“You said it, big feller.”
What I'm wondering is, what do I eat with my Hells Bells Sauvignon Blanc?
“I'm thinking,” Brain tells me, “a well-ripened cheese. Maybe the Led Zeppelin Black Dog brie.”
“Sensational. Accompanied by a Black Sabbath Paranoid quince paste.”
The Grumpy-Brain Advertising Corp next plans to release the Pauline Hanson range of Please Explain lingerie.